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SHARK TANK

Tales from the world of ICT

By Industry contributors | US | Monday, 7 December, 2009

 

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A pretty paperweight

Pilot fish is installing a new workstation when he notices something sitting on the stack of paper in a nearby printer.

"It was a piece of coral," says fish, "so I took it out.

"A user saw that and put the piece of coral back, saying it held the top of the tray up so the paper didn't fall to the floor.

"I took the coral back out and flipped over the tray extension", fish recalls.



Playing games with users

A user is known to spend much of her time playing Soliataire online.

When pilot fish gets a new remote-access application, he knows just how to test it in stealth mode: He joins the user's Solitaire session, moving some cards into play, undoing the user's moves and taking cards for a trip around her screen.

Fish notices the user struggling to take back control of her mouse — and looking around the office to see if anyone else has noticed.

Later that day, as fish walks past the user's desk, she asks him if anything weird is going on with the computers.

"What do you mean by weird?" fish asks innocently.

"Oh, I don't know — the mouse moving on its own," user says.

Fish replies, "The only thing I've heard of lately was the solitaire virus. It takes control of your computer and eventually reformats your hard drive while you play solitaire. But we're too busy here to play games, so we shouldn't see the problem."



Going online to avoid odours

Helpdesk pilot fish takes one last call before his lunch break.

User: "I have a silly question. I can't access the online ordering website for the local Subway."

Fish: Did it ever work?

User: "It worked yesterday. I want to know if network security is blocking the website."

Fish: Why don't you just go in and order inside, since you have to pick it up anyway?

User: "Then you smell like a Subway sandwich all day. It gets in your hair and everything, like going into a bar and smelling like smoke. I like to order it online and then pick it up at the drive through."


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